Constant's pations

If it's more than 30 minutes old, it's not news. It's a blog.

Monday, May 23, 2005

FBI gets a clue: Finds 340 FOIA records they said didn't exist

"I" as in Incompetent or Idiot: From ιδιος, idios, "private".

In ancient Athens, an "idiot" was a person who declined to take part in public life; someone unable to find their way.

Surprise, surprise Gomer Pyle!

After pulling their head out of their collective ass, the FBI agents actually looked in the last place they thought to look: The FBI.

That's right, sports fans. The mental midgets who can't investigate their way out of a paper bag, are now surprised to find records where they're supposed to be: In the electronic data storage bins.

FBI is afraid of openness

The last thing the FBI could be expected to be is responsive. Don't want to set any dangerous precedents. Never know when want to say, "Hay, we've never responded in the past, why start now?"

Remember, they're called "Sacks" because they don't keep their jobs forever.

FBI admitted they were lazy. "We can't do all that searching." Of course they can't, the software that they have from SAIC is ... what's the word ... CRAP?

Think about this. FBI has been "running" the nation's national police force since the 1930s. Its' been 4 years since 9-11.

"It was really hard to use the search engine."

Guess what? All that intelligence they've been collecting with those pretextual stops and torture in Guantanamo/AbuGhraib/CIA Express/Operation Falcon ... and put into the ChoicePointLexisLeakyDatabase. . . they can't find it.

So why are they still torturing people to death to 'get more info' that even Spike Bowman can't find?

Maybe all the FBI needs to do is get a clue about computers: You type in the words and press "ENTER," they might realize:
"[U]sing 12 search terms derived from Trentadue's original request, two FBI analysts searching the Oklahoma City bombing case's computerized text files had found 340 potentially relevant documents."Ref
"Potentially" means they have the paperwork up their ass, but still aren't sure why. Duh. Morons! With "police like this" who needs an enemy like AlQueda?

Oh, that's right: AlQueda is in law enforcement and the military. Silly me.

How many warnings to the FBI-FAA were there about terror-idiot attacks? Only 52 FAA warnings. Hay, if it had been 53, maybe someone would have typed that number into the FBI database and gotten the right number for NORAD.

Characters with beards

If Osama had a different name, maybe someone would be interested.