Seizing Control of Cheney's Office

Vice President Cheney may not realize it, but he's about to lose control of his office furniture.

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Rep. Charles Rangel, the new Chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee may wish to recall the FBI raid into Congressman Jefferson's office.

The Department of Justice made quite a showing that Jefferson's personal office was possibly linked with illegal conduct.

Last time we checked, this would establish precedent for the US Attorney and FBI to lawfully enter any Congressional Office.

If the Vice President is allegedly complicit with war crimes, it would seem appropriate that, as the case with Congressman Jefferson, the new leadership may wish to extend an olive branch to the Department of Justice OPR office, and invite a review of the Vice President's desk.

Putting aside the alleged papers which the Vice President likes to manually make notes on, and the other evidence Patrick Fitzgerald enjoys reviewing, it would seem incumbent upon the new Congressional leadership that they might swiftly work with the US Attorney's office, lawfully procure a warrant, and seize the Vice President's furniture.

This would permit the various prosecutors around the country, including each of the 50 State Attorney Generals the opportunity to personally have the furniture sent to their respective offices, for purposes of evidence review, discovery, or other possible reviews.

It may seem unusual to move the furniture and permit the State Attorney Generals to review the data and other documents, but there is a reason for conducting such an inquiry. Each State Attorney General, under US law, is permitted to bring charges against a sitting president and vice President for violations of the laws.

Whether the US Congressional leadership does or does not impeach is beside the point.

It would be prudent for the State Attorney Generals, working closely with your office and the new Congressional leadership to communicate their review requirements.

Specifically, under the US Code, States -- as the President and Vice President know -- have the power to enforce State privacy laws. It remains to be understood which documents, or other things the Vice President has in his Congressional office that may be of interest to the State Attorney Generals.

It is our view that upon FBI seizure of the Vice President's furniture, it would be appropriate for your staff and Committee to conduct extensive, in-office review of the evidence, furniture, and other things so that you and your staff might come to appreciate the wisdom and divine Guidance which may have given solace and comfort to your predecessors.

According to the House rules, once the assets are seized, and your Committee Chooses to embark on fact finding, it would seem appropriate that as Chairman you are given the discretion whether the evidence is seized permanently, or turned over to the FBI. Given the physical office is attached (for now) to the Capital, it would seem most appropriate that you and your staff, in conducting your inquiry, use your wide discretion as chairman to appropriately store, house, and monitor the room in the manner that you as Chairman deem most conductive to your informed fact finding, review, and oversight.

Again, there is no allegation that the Vice President has directly contributed to the illegal deaths of countless of civilians; only that in the absence of a credible defense, the Vice President appears to be closely linked with criminal conduct, and the alleged obstruction of the DOJ OPR to review the NSA-FISA violations.

From this juncture, it would seem prudent and appropriate that you continue to exercise your statesmanship, and properly secure, store, and provide to law enforcement -- in a manner, time, and form that you deem most appropriate -- and ensure the Office is cared for while the ongoing inquiry expands.

Whether the Vice President’s furniture makes its way back to the Capital is a secondary concern. The furniture appears to be linked with an appropriation that Congress, once it agrees the furniture is linked with an alleged crime and is transshipped for review around the country, would agree remains under control of the Sergeant At Arms, and subjected to indefinite retention where the Committee Might Inspect the contents of the furniture in a time, place, and manner it seems most appropriate.

Curiously, if we review the calendar, it seems most striking to note that the Congress will remain in Session until well into January 2009. The Vice President will have the opportunity, if the Attorney Generals have not entered the furniture into evidence as an exhibit to return the evidence to the Vice President, unless the FBI or US Attorney conclude it should be retained for possible discovery.

Under the laws of war and Geneva Conventions, there is no statute of limitations. It would be prudent, and you and your staff have most likely already considered this, for the evidence to be retained, stored, and properly cared for so that future generations may review the evidence; should they find, many generations from now, that there has been a crime, then they would be in a position to review the evidence, and have a grand jury make a finding of fact.

Whether the Vice President is unable to attend that future review will have to be an issue an Article III court will have to determine. Until then, we appreciate your statesmanship, and hope you and the FBI are able to come to an amicable arrangement as to how the Vice President's office can be legally opened, and the contents lawfully secured for inspection by any of the fifty state attorney Generals who may wish to bring charges against the Vice President for his alleged complicity with the conspiracy to violate the Constitution, deny state citizens privacy rights, and other legal issues the State Attorney Generals are well positioned to defend.

Should the President and his alleged co-conspirators not comprehend their furniture problems, perhaps you may wish to send the swivel chair and lamp fixtures to the Milan Prosecutor investigating rendition. The US Embassy in Rome would now doubt be happy to receive your notification that Cheney's furniture is undergoing an extensive examination, and the CIA Station Chief would be free to send over a cadre of super-CIA sleuths, under Abraxas-placed cover, to retrieve the Vice President's office supplies. Whether the Milan Prosecutor detains this cadre for subsequent examination remains a separate matter, although they may find themselves in Germany, under close examination of the German war crimes prosecutor.

Thank you for your continued efforts to preserve evidence, and work with the FBI to ensure the Members of Congress staff remains open for the FBI Criminal Division.

If you have any questions, feel free to call "Chip" Burrus at the FBI who I believe would be most accommodating to your request that the Vice President's evidence be seized, and lawfully rendered to the most interested State Attorney General.

We hope you enjoy the detailed, time consuming, and exhaustive research you and your staff may require when inspecting the Vice President's office. Should you feel the need to redecorate, the President has informed the country he has someone in mind who can replace the Vice President's drapes. Perhaps the President can recommend additional carpet suggestions, quality of furniture, and various light shades you and your distinguished staff may enjoy while conducting your understandably exhaustive evidence inventory in the Vice President's office.

Please kindly remind the Vice President that he can pick up the furniture at from the Moving Truck which will arrive at his current residence in late January or early February 2009. He doesn't have to be personally there to sign for the delivery; his wife, I'm sure, given her signature on the Constition's Bicentennial Celebration, is ample evidence to suggest she is capable of signing for her husband should be temporarily detained at The Hague or any of the fifty States or another undisclosed location, subject to a second line of lawful subpoenas.

We expect you and your staff will be meticulous in your review, but do not expect you to in any way provide any formal report of your findings. We trust you will enter your conclusions into the Congressional Record where appropriate, memorializing for future generations your detailed observations between now, and the time you deem your study and examination has been completed.