Fantasy White House: True distractions from Rove
Satire
Rove!
1:18 P.M. EDT
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Rove is looking like he's in trouble.
So is Libby.
. . . did the President feel that there are issues that are off limits, or can senators ask any question they want? They aren't allowed to ask about the scandals or negative things that will prompt more questions about Rove, war crimes, or other things that are inconvenient. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]]
Do you think Rove has a good lawyer?
Who cares. He's toast.
And why is it unreasonable to expect people to try to understand what his views may be? No one is allowed to inquire into anything that might be related to reality. No commitments. We just want handwaving and vagueness. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]]
What did Rove know and when did he know it?
He's known all along.
. . . why shouldn't a candidate, a nominee not comment on the Supreme Court's holding in a particular case that is past law and be able to explain -- be willing to explain his philosophy and his views on the law as it was applied previously? It is best that less is said. If we ask to many questions, we might have too much reality. Reality is bad. Ungood. Double plus ungood. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Is Rove going to have a problem finding a job?
Prison jobs are easy to find.
When the President met with Judge Roberts, did he discuss any issues in particular, any hot-button social issues with him to understand his views on them?* Hot button as in watch out for your knees man. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Which will get a worse sentence: Rove or Libby?
Rove.
Libby.
did Karl Rove or Dick Cheney or anybody else in the administration ask those hot-button questions? It was a private conversation. Cheney and Rove don't like to talk about exercise. The President was the monkey on this one. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Is Rove unstable right now?
Always a jokester you are.
Justice O'Connor is quoted as saying that Roberts is, quote, "Good in every way, except he's not a woman." What's the President's reaction to that comment? The President was taken aback. He was wondering if Justice O'Conner wants Roberts to have a sex change. That's not going to happen. Let me say that again. There will be no sex change operations while this President is Commander in Thief. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
What's Rove's plan now that he's under the spotlight?
He's going to move the spotlight.
you now have a nominee to the Supreme Court up on the Hill at the same time that another key nominee is stagnated up there, John Bolton. So does this change the way that you try and move forward on the Bolton nomination? There's no plan to move forward. We'll just move sideways. Then dodge left. With a feignt. I mean, feign. Enough movement, and this will distract your attention from the Downing Street Memo, Rove, and the war crimes and impeachment stuff. Don't look. There's nothing to the Geneva Conventions, Toto. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Rove has a problem with following the law.
Your point?
Just an observation.
what was the obligation, if there was any, for the White House to pick someone at least along the lines of Sandra Day O'Connor's judicial philosophy? We only have an obligation to create distractions. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Has Rove ever done anything to show any remorse?
He's sad that he got caught.
How original.
You're welcome.
So you're not looking at balancing the scales, it's more about a conservative lean? The scales are already tipped against us. We are trying to rebalance them, but the world isn't taking our bait. Darn. Reality sucks. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Rove certainly does like his games.
Yes. He does.
would it not be appropriate for members of the Senate to try and find out, on any given issue, the basis for a nominee's interpretation? The more questions about something vague, the less time for something specific like Rove, war crimes, and impeachment. I say, "Go for it." |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
What do you think was his fatal flaw?
What is your deal: Do you want to go upstairs and join the press pool?
Just asking.
Shouldn't the nominee be forthcoming about how he views, for instance, candidly, the abortion issue? Whatever he wants to talk about. More time on him, less time on Rove. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Is Rove going to . . .
Hay! Rove is not a word we mention, remember.
It's Roberts.
But as you know, that's a thin record, which is probably concerning both sides at this particular point. Is that something that factored into the choice? The only factor was: How hot is the skillet under Rove's rear end. He's only got so much fat down there. And the oven is getting hot. Get your tinfoil ready. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
OK. The person "formerly known as Rove," what will happen to him?
They'll make a movie.
He'll be a consultant.
They'll hire him as a strategist.
I'm moving to Canada.
The President seemed to indicate this morning that he spoke with senators last night. Can you tell us with whom and when? And also, of all the senators that have been consulted, how many did the President actually speak with, beyond the four or five of the leadership? He spoke to some of them. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Why Canada?
Rove isn't there.
Yet . . .
Will he?
You're worried?
can you describe to us to what degree or extent any of the Democrats that the President spoke with actually commended Roberts to him, and whether or not the President was led to understand by Democrats that Roberts was a confirmable nominee? The only criteria was whether Rove was saved by the distraction. Nothing more. Oh, but there was another factor. But I can't think of it right now. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Rove isn't going anywhere.
Then I'm leaving.
When you say "highly qualified," and the President thinks he's uniquely qualified, does the President believe that Mr. Roberts is a strict constructionist in the mold of Mr. Scalia or Thomas? So insofar as the President made it clear in his initial campaign that he was going to seek strict constructionists in the mold of Scalia and Thomas, can we assume that this is a nominee that fits that bill? I'm not aware that Roberts has any connection with the construction industry. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
But we need you.
Get real. You don't need anyone but distractions.
It has been reported that President Bush has decided to hold nomination of special envoy for North Korean human rights. Can you tell us why -- Human rights envoys in North Korea get replaced. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Last week it was the press pool.
The sharks have taken over the basement.
Where's your press pass?
I don't need one.
Did you get assimilated?
Scott, has the President or the White House, in the selling of John Roberts, had to tell anyone, look, next time it's going to be a woman or an Hispanic? The President does what he wants. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
They're asking some good questions about Rove.
I want to know.
Yes, so do I.
The rebellion is spreading.
Are any of the two women who went through that final round of five personal interviews still on deck for the next appointment? The deck is connected to the Titanic. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
I think you should listen to the propaganda coming out of McClellan's mouth.
Take it seriously?
Why start now.
Does the President, or you have any comment on the chaos in Israel and on the votes today to continue to withdraw from Gaza? It's good for settlers to move out of land that belongs to other people. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Rove! Rove! Rove!
Roberts! Roberts! Roberts!
If Hamas becomes part of the government in Palestine, and Hezbollah in Lebanon, how will the United States handle that? Will the U.S. talk to Hamas and Hezbollah? They have our number. And we don't answer it. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Rove!
has anyone from these three networks -- NBC, ABC, CBS -- apologized to you for this behavior? I never apologize for lying to you. So why would the media apologize for doing their job? |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Rove!
Roberts, Roberts, Roberts!
Do you have a response to Prince Bandar stepping down as ambassador? And do you think that that will, in any way, affect U.S.-Saudi relations? Prince Bandar is a fine man. We expect the continued cover-up of 9-11 to continue. High oil prices means no threat of deflation. And that means less time on Rove. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
So you want to be a cheerleader.
Give me an R - -
Give me an O
. . . .
This better not be a V . . .
You were going to give us a readout on the conversation between Roberts and the President when he made the offer. There is no computer readout available. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
Give me an R - O - V - E.
What's that spell?
"War crimes!"
"Impeachment!"
And, "end of fascism!"
How did you get quotes around that?
Scott, what are the prospects of a presidential mediation board in the Northwest Airlines labor impasse? Airlines are in trouble. Profits are down. If they weren't smart enough to have adequate hedges for price fluctuations, oh well. And if there aren't enough funds for pensions, it looks like someone was stupid to believe in a fantasy. Not our problem. Thank you. |
Basement chatter intercepts [Made up]
[Doing the wave] Rove!
END 1:46 P.M. EDT
Satire
posted by Constant @ 10:26 AM
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