Constant's pations

If it's more than 30 minutes old, it's not news. It's a blog.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

DC Wire: decrypted messages from the nation's capital

New Judicial Council committees. You'll have time to attend these.New committee announcements [Clickhere ]

1 New Committee

Purpose Milestone/Announcement
Sub-committee on Domestic Security and Court Mis-Administration Through Chaos Somewhat loosely organized, semi-formalized sub-par committee to create checklists to spew forth frivolous warnings without evidence"
  • Memorize: "We are making great progress."

    Memorize that statement, and repeat it endlessly to the media.
    They know something, but are not sharing. Stall. Do not respond in writing to public inquiries until after the report has been signed.
  • DoJ's Committee to Mess with America's Mind Share chocolate chip cookie recipes Tonight's speaker to compare/contrast natural sugar to processed sugar. Free soda provided. Bring your own straws.
    Domestic Security Committee to update checklists to spew forth non-sense Meet in Room 4-B; will discuss
  • final draft of plan to make civilians jump through hoops;
  • techniques to prepare civilians to confidently, but mindlessly, face flaming pit of doom;
  • special guest speaker from Office of Special Plans -- topic "Hiding crimes: Muffled screams and evidence destruction"
  • DoD Committee to Overthrow Last Vestiges of Domestic Freedom Volleyball practice 7:30, POAC; Court adjacent to Admiral LoveChild's office; bring fresh socks
    Subcommittee on American Judicial Arrogance Unofficial but endorsed secret committee that everyone denies exists but all blindly obey Even if you can't get away with it, do the opposite of what the rules say; the leadership appreciates your assistance in hiding facts from the auditors, media, and investigators.
  • If you are caught, blame the "retired one" for the confusion.
  • Distract, delay, but do not divulge
  • Committee to hide court administrators from inquiries Still searching for a permanent chairman Previous committee leadership has not stopped vomiting after reviewing record of deception, betrayal, and bad policies. Eat more chalk.
    Domestic Security Committee to Establish Slogans Which Mean Nothing We remain substantially over-rated, and loathed; making great progress is messing with America's collective conscious. Staff has been unable to meet for two months. Making fine progress.
    Court Staff Committee to Hide Ineffectual Oversight and Inquiry by Judicial Officers, Legilsative Staff, and Malleable Auditors Auditors fooled; whistleblowers smeared. Good job!
    Bring the "shameful-ones" out of the dungeon. Let them linger a few days before releasing them to the sunlight. Oxygen is not mandatory for these miscreants.
    DoJ Committee to Silence All Messengers of Worthwhile information
  • Slogan approved, "If we could make bomb-making as fun as making brownies, that's a cable show; possible daytime award."
  • Write nomination package.
  • DoJ's CIFA "We put more energy into promoting bad ideas than fighting for principles" Slogan Approved; John A. will pesonally contact media-lackeys to begin mindless repetition. Global conquest imminent.