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Saturday, April 15, 2006

Reckless Rumsfeld: America's contempt

Rumsfeld is a war criminal.

Bush recently got worried about a rising tide of Retired Flag Officers who have decided to speak out about his recklessness.

Some call Rumsfeld's actions "leadership." Others call it what it is: Criminal neglect.

Bush is in trouble. He is on the defensive. He awoke a few days ago and wrote a letter about Don. We offer you the first draft. You decide.

WH fears: Click; Indictment Template, 1992: [ Click ]

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The truth: The first draft

My fellow Americans,

Today is a day of great blessing. Our Lord Jesus only a few centuries ago was brought from the Kingdom of Heaven, and inspired us with tales of sacrifice and faith.

Today, we are inspired again by the likes of another Saintly Fellow, my good friend Donald Rumsfeld. I first learned of Don during the Vietnam years. There was a disaster off the coast of Vietnam, and Don was there to cover up the mess.

Today, this nation faces another disaster and Don is there to make it worse. Thanks to him, America is less secure, it has greater enemies, and the Citizens of America are more inspired to speak out against fascism.

I must say, even when Condi Rice was in the National Security Council, little did we realize so many of us would commit so many crimes. But Don was there. The Germans have indicted him for war crimes; the Iranians think he's a bozo, and on top of that he still is the king of screw ups.

Today, America wages an illegal war in Iraq; and prepares to wage another illegal war in Iran. Although our forces are tired, weak, and poorly led by yours truly, we're going to give it our best shot. Hopefully, the Iranians won't do much shooting: We still don't have much body armor, but we've got plenty of room in Arlington.

Earlier today I spoke with Don Rumsfeld about ongoing military operations in the Global War on Terror. Don and I agree that this "Global War on Terror" is a stupid name. That's like war on burglary -- you don't win it, you never will, you simply fight it.

I must admit that I am at a loss for words. Although I reiterated my doubt, and regret that I did not accept Don's resignation many times since I was elected, today we face a greater threat: The rule of law and the Fitzgerald Grand Jury.

I admit to our Lord Almighty that I may have some marriage problems. Yes, Laura has threatened to leave me because of my drinking. She feels like a prisoner in the White House, occasionally taking a smoke break on the White House patio.

I doubt Don's motives. It was only a few years ago he offered his resignation. I regret to inform the nation that I did not accept his resignation earlier.

Don's leadership is questionable. He is reckless. He is unreliable. He's a bully. But the reason I keep him around is that he's going to be the guy I push first into the Fitzgerald Grand Jury.

America faces an unprecedented challenge: A sitting President has committed war crimes, and the Congress assents to this rebellion. I am in charge, and no one can stop me. Not even the bloggers.

America is challenged. It is incapable of stopping me, even through my military commanders tell me that the war gaming over Iran has produced disastrous results. For us. Like all bad information, we'll suppress that.

Publicly, during this time of turmoil, chaos, and confusion in my staff, I reluctantly offer some support for the guy we have come to despise: That man being Don Rumsfeld.

Without him being around, there's not telling who I could blame for my recklessness, my negligence, and my war crimes.

History means nothing. We only need to look at the history that is convenient, but ignore those principles when they are applied to us.

Is this an historic time? We'll see: I rather think it's dark, gloomy, and depressing.

Yes, Americans have every right to be concerned: I'm an evil dictator, and you are my pawns. I shall throw you to the waves of Iranians, and simply bury you in Arlington. At the right movement, I will wipe my eye, but there is no tear. This is joy.

Our military has been tasked with illegal missions. Upon assuming office, I directed the Secretary of Defense to continue with the illegal data mining plans. Today, we see the results: The NARUS STA 6400 as it is used by AT&T is only the tip of the iceberg. There are other things you will find out.

When we cannot follow the law, we will simply shift the laws. Where we have no leadership, we will compel others to change.

We call it transformation, but it actually simply shifting chairs on the Titanic. The Fitzgerald Grand Jury iceberg remains dead ahead.

That kind of foe -- the rule of law -- is hard to contend with. But we've done our best. Our nation's military is fully engaged to confront Americans -- considered by our Joint Staff to be the most dangerous threats to my Administration.

The 21st Century will be a time of great reckoning: Will the forces of law, order, good, and faith triumph over me -- the source of American misery, depression, gloom, and lawlessness?

Don and our military have chosen rebellion over the rule of law. I applaud their choice. If they chose otherwise, I would send them into the Potomac, without a life raft, but with plenty of cherry blossoms.

Don and our military commanders have been tasked to take this fight to the American homeland, to engage Americans on the streets, and destroy their sense of trust in the rule of law. We are proud of our accomplishments. We are making great progress. The Constitution remains under threat. If it had legs, it would be on the run.

Sadly, I have to report that Americans are no longer running. Rather, they have taken a stand. American military commanders have joined with civilians and have decided to stand up to my dictatorship.

The timing of this is obvious: My commanders and I -- who freely choose to rebel against the rule of law == had hoped to spread chaos into Iran. We had hoped to sacrifice more American blood so that we might get more stock gains in our blind trusts. The game is over.

Around the nation, on multiple fronts Americans are daring to stand up to my dictatorship. They choose to defy my rebellion. They continue to assert the rule of law. They pass proclamations. It is only April 2006, fully six months before the election. Indeed, we hoped to bring freedom to Iraqis; little did we realize that Americans would take it seriously and demand the same at home.

We were wrong. We are fools. And there's only one person you need to blame: Me, George Bush, your failed, reckless President -- a drunkard, a man who has a wife who sneaks a smoke, and a pal named Don who don't know when to quit.

I have seen first hand how Don will continue despite impossible odds. Today, our odds are just as impossible: Whether the rule of law will prevail; or whether the rule of law will be trashed. Don knows full well how to do this, and the Germans have spoken out: "Nazi, go home."

Don is a reckless man. He refuses to listen. He remains arrogant. He does not listen to military commanders in his office, in the Pentagon, or in the field. Don does not care about what is or is not best for America. He cares about one thing: Me.

That's why I keep him around. He's a good man to blame when things get bad. Rest assured my fellow Americans things have not gotten as bad as we expect them to be. Don Rumsfeld stands by my side -- waiting for the day when I ask him to take the blame for all that I have done. Don is like a loyal sheep dog, one that I occaisionally use for target practice.

Americans, you are fools. I have trashed your way of life, and you have embraced my non-sense as if I were the Holy Father. You have exceeded my expectations.

The ones who make the real decisions are the American people. How this nation transforms itself is not something I can control. The way forward is to see that our mission is in opposition to the rule of law. Our idea of "best" is worst.

When it comes to matters of the law, Don is not a lawyer. Secretary Rumsfeld is not to be trusted. He is lazy, he cannot do his job, and is not dependable.

Don is exactly the kind of man American dictators need. This is a critical period: Whether the world will buy our non-sense, or whether they will demand the rule of law and accountability.

Don needs to stay. Not because of what he can do for America; but what he can do to America: Destroy your sense of faith in government, undermine your confidence in our military, and belief that America has a Constitution worth defending.

Americans, your leadership defies you. Your leadership is at odds with the rule of law. It is reckless, negligent, and criminal.

There is no reason Americans should trust this Secretary of Defense. Nor is there any reason that anyone should support him or the military. He remains a threat to the American Constitution. He does not deserve any support or appreciation.

Rather, he deserves to be tried for war crimes. Again!

But lazy Americans will never do that. You are not willing to stand up to the rule of law. Rather, you are more inclined to give up, and believe all that I have said.

Despite my lies, we prepare for the final conflict of Armageddon in Iran. We plan to use nuclear weapons. We plan to inspire the world to rise up against US. This will bring the end to our way of life, and we will soon meet in the Kingdom of Heaven.

I am as always, grateful for your having the stupidity for electing me your President. I shall go down as the last President. And there will be no History.

You may call me, "Oh supreme one," for I have supremely destroyed all that you cherish, love, and believe.

How fitting that I could deliver this message to you so close to Good Friday. We are not good. We are the forces of Evil.


George W. Bush
Your dictator

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The big lie about Reckless Rumsfeld: What he finally decided to say

Earlier today I spoke with Don Rumsfeld about ongoing military operations in the Global War on Terror. I reiterated my strong support for his leadership during this historic and challenging time for our Nation.

The Department of Defense has been tasked with many difficult missions. Upon assuming office, I asked Don to transform the largest department in our government. That kind of change is hard, but our Nation must have a military that is fully prepared to confront the dangerous threats of the 21st century. Don and our military commanders have also been tasked to take the fight to the enemy abroad on multiple fronts.

I have seen first-hand how Don relies upon our military commanders in the field and at the Pentagon to make decisions about how best to complete these missions. Secretary Rumsfeld's energetic and steady leadership is exactly what is needed at this critical period. He has my full support and deepest appreciation.


George W. Bush
Basket case

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