Constant's pations

If it's more than 30 minutes old, it's not news. It's a blog.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Real Answers To Citizenship Questions

Ref Here are the real answers to the new citizenship questions.

Use at your own risk.

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Why does the United States have three branches of government?

So the President can ignore them.

One branch wasn't bad.

Two branches weren’t good.

Four branches were enough for a swing set, tree house with a sunroof, and a walk in closet.

Real Answer: To divide power; ensure that power is not concentrated in the hands of one person or a small group; and prevent the abuse of power and violation of rights. It didn't work.

Honest Answer: Today, or when it was originally written? You need to be more specific with what you are asking. It's supposed to have three branches, but this government only respects one of them. Are you talking in theory, or in actual practice under a given Administration?

Name two rights that are only for US citizens

The right to be abused by DHS agents during illegal interrogations.

The right to a failed government.

The right to interesting questions on citizenship tests.

The right to have a citizenship test.

The right to have rights others do not have.

Real answer: All people are endowed with inalienable rights. US Citizens do not have special inalienable rights -- all people have the same inalienable rights. The government doesn't recognize them unless the government official is being subpoenaed by a war crimes tribunal.

Honest Answer: The question is poorly worded. Rights aren't "for" anyone; they are "protected" or "enjoyed. Please restate the question using proper English. Also, how is anyone to know that Americans only have a right that all 6.8Billion people do not have -- how can you prove that: Can you prove that all citizens of all nations do not have any of the rights that Americans enjoy?

Name two cabinet-level positions

1. Bend.

2. Over.

The Position of Cabinets.

The Cabinet Level Positions.

Real Answer: Secretary of Defense/Department of Defense; Secretary of State/State Department. They're the same as the President, who is the decider, and they blindly obey.

Honest Answer: Poodles and Dobermans: They like to appear in dog shows, have their picture taken, and like to be lead around by a leash. Woof!

Name one important idea found in the Declaration of Independence

The idea that independence and can be declared.

The Declaration of Independence.

Real Answer: The inherent right of people to remove from power despotic tyrants.

Honest Answer: There are no ideas in the document; there were words written on the document.

What does the Constitution do?

Keeps the President's house warm in Crawford.

It Constitutes.

Nothing, Constitutions don't do anything -- they're just a piece of paper; We the People do the work to make sure it is respected, enforced, protected, defended, and preserved. Government officials cannot be trusted to assert their 5 USC 3331 oath of office.

Real Answer It' defines (a) the structure of the US government outlining delegated powers; and (b) some of the rights the government is supposed to respect.

Honest Answer: Nothing. We need a new one. Here's what it might look like: Ref

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A. Bravery Points

If you chose the "Honest Answers" you might be awake. However, your attitude might be interpreted to be just that: "An attitude" and your name could be added to the "no fly list" and sent packing. Where? You don't want to know. They have plungers there, and the guards are bored. You are brave. Give yourself a bravery point.

B. Poodle Points

If you chose "real answers" you are qualified to be a Presidential speech writer, and excellent Congressional Committee Witness. You are a poodle. Give yourself a poodle point.

C. Citizenship Points

If you chose any of the "other answers" you are very good at taking tests. You are a citizen. Give yourself a citizenship point.


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"Ignorance is no leash for a fool."
-- Constant, 2006

[ Check: Not Written By Shakespeare ]

[ Constant's Quote, Credit History: Streisand Franken]