Constant's pations

If it's more than 30 minutes old, it's not news. It's a blog.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Couric Asks For Suggestions -- Constant Responds

CBS News Anchor Couric asked for suggestions how to end the CBS Evening news. [ Standards]

Typically, the anchor will close with a short blurb like . . .Ref

"What would Souri say?" Ref

"What color should I wear tomorrow? Send your votes to the online poll."

"And this is the _____th day of fascism under George Bush."

"At CBS we don't just report tyranny, we live it."

"Thanks for watching, and please visit the CBS News blog for updates. We hope to get more hits than those crappy bloggers who have no solutions, but whine alot. Aren't they pathetic?!?"

"Yes, Virginia, the CBS Eye really is watching you. The show is over, but we're still wathing you on the web, when you're sleeping, and when you're awake. See you."

"I'm getting paid to feed you this . . .Cha-ching!"

"And I'll see YOU on the web."

"If it's news, it's CBS."

"It's beer time. Who's got coupons?" [Then rip a loud one, like the President does.]

"Thanks for the dance." Ref Ref


A. Lip sych the Sound of Music, "Goodbye, adieu, . . .Ref Ref

B. Mimic something a famous celebrtity in the news is doing or saying. Ref [Ex: "Au revioir, Simone . . ." Ref ]

C. Pick a random phrase from the internet: Ref.

D. Make up a new phrase: Ref

E. Make a snarky comment about one of the news items, and see if the audience agrees or disagrees. Conduct a poll. Have a follow-up discussion. Post results during the next evening's broadcast. Spin the image, make it do strange things. Change colors. Make it wiggle. Be obnoxious.

F. Encourage people to search a specific key word: "Thanks for listening. Checkout Flaming Toast. Ref

G. Use a ringtone for SFX, pick a key phrase from the lyric: Ref [EX: i'd been around da world; i bet you know now; we gon' to soda-pop; i met your ass topless ]

H. Wave a ping-pong ball before the camera Ref, let your eyes grow big, and say, "It's over, my pretty." [ Ref: Analogy -- Karaoke bouncing ball on words.]

Body Language

Dance with minature, plastic farm animals, and sing nursury rhymes to the newborn listeners. Ref, then fade out.

Don't say anyting, just do what the President does. Ref Ref

Make a silent motion. Ref

Scream loudly, and run through the studio. [Sample: Ref] Knock things over, leave a path of destruction. Then conclude, "If you think this is bad, think about the Katrina victims. Buy your Mardis Gras tickets."

* * *

* * *


* * *


Ref. Number 4.