Top 10 reasons why you should buy NSA Echelon Mustard

The Judiciary Staffers are leaving notes again.

What's the news this week?

[ For your convenience, there is an NSA Hearing Archive; Click here to read other content in the NSA Hearing Archive.]

NSA has a new blend of mustard, Echelon: And this is why you should buy it

10. The Joint Staff likes to cook up a sweet tune of legality -- but we know the truth -- they're war criminals, and write stupid notes in violation of DoD orders. Echelon makes the bad stuff sweet, even though it's bad.

9. Even though it's the NSA's toy, it's our Constitution. You can vote to support the Constitution, or you can vote to let the NSA roll over you dog. Do you care? Of course not, so have some Echelon, and smile: We've got your name.

8. With the right kind of hand waving, you can make anything look legal -- just don't ask us where our hands are. They're covered with Echelon brand mustard.

7. If you buy the Bush non-sense about the NSA, you may be in rebellion. So have some Echelon, it will make that prison gruel palatable.

6. The NSA disaster irritates Republicans because . . . we'll they’re republicans. What do you expect when flying in a HC-130 over Afghanistan, in a cargo box?

5. NSA claims to be non-partisan. Are you kidding, they get paid to lie. But not Echelon, it tells the truth even about the Joint Staff's illegal orders.

4. The NSA knows the truth about the military’s support of the President's rebellion. Even though they have jobs, it doesn't mean that the GCHQ can't monitor the Joint Staff for war crimes. GCHQ can monitor the food you eat, so behave!

3. Even though Bush won in 2004, it didn't mean that he was actually following the law. He just lied alot, and fooled alot of people. But he's got Echelon mustard, and that's all that counts.

2. Unlike Stalin's clear position on torture, Bush can't make up his mind whether he's for or Against Democracy. If it’s Democracy imposed by force -- it's good if it’s in Iraq; but if it's Democracy imposed by ballots, it's bad if it's connected to Hamas. Where's that Echelon?

1. Who knows, in a few years, they might get out of jail. And Echelon will be there.

Next time you want some mustard, think NSA Echelon. It's the stuff that makes America's fascism taste great, even if you're a Judiciary Staffer who can't find a real job in the food business.