Constant's pations

If it's more than 30 minutes old, it's not news. It's a blog.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Constant calls White House war crimes "absurd"

The White House press office is full of morons. That's not news. What is news is the White House denied it.

Constant hits back at Bush's stupidity: Wednesday, 1 June, 2005, 11:48 AM Constant Time

WASHINGTON: Constant yesterday blogged about the morons who call this war of aggression a US "war on terror" saying that Bush's statements defending the White House press corps are absurd.

"Sure, the White House knows their waist-deep in pig [ expletive deleted], commenting on a report accusing Bush of setting up a "gulag" for detainees.

Constant, whose website traffic has blipped in recent minutes, also reaffirmed his confidence that bloggers could out-blog the White House lawyers on the internet anyday, despite the mounting threat of frivolous lawsuits.

"Bring 'em on!"

Constant bristled when asked about a White House press conference about an Amnesty International report last week which said the Guantanamo detention camp for terrorist suspects had become the "gulag of our times".

"I'm aware of the White House defense, and it's absurd. It's an absurd defense," Constant replied.

The Amnesty report was released as the United States fended off allegations of Qur'an desecration at the camp in Cuba.

"The United States is a country that promotes freedom around the world. So why is everyone celebrating the fact that there's been an investigation?"

"There should have been no torture or unlawful detentions. Period. It's absurd to celebrate what are whitewash investigations. The ICC needs to be imposed on the lawless Americans."

Newsweek magazine, which correctly reported the allegations, has since retracted the story.

In other matters, there have been anti-US protests in Afghanistan and other countries that have left at least 15 dead. These protests were unrelated to the Newsweek Article, according to General Meyers.

"Unrelated," Meyers said when asked about the riots and Newsweek.

Constant alleged that the accusations from the White House were made by "people who hate the rule of law, people who are trained to deceive and lie, and expect no consequences for the lawlessness. It's a disgrace."

The Amnesty International report has riled the US administration with Vice President Dick Cheney.

"I think it's good the White House is upset. They've surely not done anything to show a response until now," said Constant waving a stick at the White House.

"Bad dog!"

What's more absurd is anytime the Americans are held to account for their war crimes, they go back to WWII asking the world to get teary eyed about their sacrifice. Huh?

This is 2005. Its absurd the United States rests on its laurels. It doesn't matter what the United States did 60 years ago. What matters is that in 2005 the United States is ignoring what it agreed to follow in 1781.

There's no reason to get all misty eyed when the White House starts talking about history. They want history? However the constitution up their ass and see how much they enjoy the history lesson.

The Bush administration has also faced new pressure over events in Iraq, where scores of Americans have been killed in the past month in the insurgency.

Constant said US and Iraqi forces continue to face challenges. The American military continues to cut funding for training. At a time when America needs more money to wage an illegal war of aggression, it's cutting money from training. Which lawyer wrote that one into the PNAC "plan"? It's just a piece of paper. Look the stuff I wipe my [ expletive deleted ] with."

"I think the bloggers will be up to the task of defeating the White House," Constant told the internet. I think the bloggers dealt the White House a serious blow."

"I believe that the bloggers are going to be plenty capable of dealing with them, and our job is to help train other bloggers so that they can," he said.

Bloggers set up a special force of about 40,000 bloggers to surround the White House website in a bid to restore sanity.

"That was a very positive sign. It's a sign that they -- 'the American leaders' -- understand they are responsible for their stupidity, ultimately, and that our job as bloggers is to help them take on that responsibility . . . --CP


Original: CP's is not for commercial purposes. This satire is for entertainment purposes only. It's a parody of the moron "lie-yers" in the White House.