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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Presidential War Crimes and Criminal Conduct: How to discuss POTUS crimes despite restrictions

Unlawful restrictions always have problems.

These restrictions are no different.

Congress may soon pass legislation banning discussion of Presidential crimes. [ Ref ]

We offer you some alternatives to get around these restrictions. Use at your own risk.

* * *

Brain storming

Think like Attorney Gonzalez and John Yoo: Find any excuse to do what you want to do then find a new way to achieve your goal: Discuss the Presidential crimes.

Adverse inferences about Presidential legal advisors’ attitudes

It’s simple. Assume the President’s advisors have the following attitudes:

  • A. “How far can we go before they start calling us really nasty names? Do we care? Not really. So we’ll just do more.”

  • B. “If we commit genocide and destroy evidence, will they stop us? We’ll blame our evil twin.”

  • C. “What concentration camps?”

  • D. “It’s only a parade – Hitler did it all the time.”

  • E. “With the right lighting, Stalin looks like an angel.”

  • F. “Welcome to the George Bush makeover. Still evil inside.”

  • F. OPM training notes: Repositioning a bad brand and a bad dictator.

  • G. Case law review: “Others got caught; can we hide the evidence?”

  • H. Nuremburg: It’s not a trial, it’s a guide book – how not to get caught.

    White House Slogans

    Trying to imagine what is inside the underground White House bunker? They have a lot of posters. Here are some of the signs on the walls:

  • 1. The law is our guide. We do the opposite.

  • 2. The law is the standard: It doesn’t apply.

  • 3. We pay our counsel to lie; and we pay theirs as well.

  • 4. The law is something we ignore. Then we rewrite it. Then we ignore it again.

  • 5. Who needs Congress: The law is just fine as it is to ignore.

  • 6. Join us in mocking the law

    * * *


    Some are concerned that the new statutes will prohibit publication of Presidential crimes. Not to worry. There are ways to get around this restriction. Change the name of your business from “newspaper” to

  • A. “Editorial opinion rag: We cover up the White House slips and falls.”

  • B. “If we had real news we’d be in jail.”

  • C. “Criminals know what’s really going on.”

  • D. “Don’t take our word for it – our words are taken.”

    * * *

    Some are concerned about the impact on civil rights. What these new restrictions will have on our lives. We’ve gotten through worse:

  • Cold winters

  • Muddy streets

  • White House press briefings

    * * *

    There are several ways to communication about the widespread unlawful Presidential activity.

  • 1. You can paint messages on signs and tape them to rocks.

  • 2. Install DVD tape players on carrier pigeons

  • 3. Tell the truth by ending with, “Just kidding.”

  • 4. Pretend it is satire

    * * *

    Some have complained the restrictions will affect your ability learn.

    Look at it as an opportunity to learn a foreign language and travel permanently abroad.

    * * *

    There are some proven technical means to get around the restrictions. Anchors can be coached to tilt their heads when certain phrases are to be deleted.

    Use a head tilt to start the deletion; then a second head tilt to read the next. Think of this as using start and stop commands in HTML.

    Repeat as necessary.

  • Example:

    “In the news today, the President promised us that he would sit by the Christmas tree. Wow that sure is a really nice tree. Can you imagine all that snow lying near the trunk.

    Using motion-censors developed by the NSA and DARPA, American media can auto-splice the above audio to read: “The President is lying”:

    [head tilt, begin delete]“In the news today, the [head tilt, end delete begin reading] President [head tilt, end reading, begin delete] promised us that he would sit by the Christmas tree. Wow that sure [head tilt, end delete, begin reading] is [head tilt, end reading being delete] a really nice tree. Can you imagine all that snow [head tilt, end delete] lying [head tilt] near the trunk.

    * * *

    There are other ways to get around the restrictions on publication

  • A. Two-Way Tivo

    There are Tivo-like machines that permit two-way messaging. The machines are not just for recording, but you can use the system to share “what’s really going on” using encryption the NSA cannot intercept. You become a micro-broadcaster using landlines you and your friends hide in the sewer pipes and inside your mailboxes. Your home mailbox can be a useful cover for a ground satellite tracking dish.

  • B. Use Presidential speeches, and auto-splice them to communicate what is actually gong on. Is the President going to sue himself for talking about his illegal activity?

  • C. Use Pony Express to send messages. It will give your doggies something to chase next time they are bored.

  • D. Street criers aren’t written or published on paper are they. Senator Feingold got it right: We’re going back to the pre-1776 era. Let’s bring back those town criers.

  • E. It’s easy to learn what is going on. Copy the United States Statutes and put before each statute, “We will violate the restrictions that prohibit . . . “ The only way the Congress can enforce this restriction is to outlaw the law. They already did that, and it hasn’t stopped you.

    * * *

    If you are a publisher and afraid that you’re going to wind up in jail, don’t worry. There are other ways to get around the unconstitutional Congressional act.

  • 1. Rather than say the truth – that the president is a war criminal – ask a question about the opposite: “Why should we believe he is following the laws of war?”

  • 2. Make the laws apply to all. Ex: “The President shifted the burden of proof on kidnapping and rendition, why shouldn’t that standard apply to him?” If they say you’re communicating something – agree, the President is held to the same standard of trust and confidence as he holds the Constitution. He remains protected by what he preserves.

  • 3. Respect reality: “They took an oath, but do they honor it?”

  • 4. Respect their wisdom: “They know the law, but do they follow it?”

    * * *

    Some have wondered, “What can we possibly believe now that we no longer can believe the President.”

    Modify the refrain about Nixon:
    When his lips are moving,
    he’s not following the law.

    When his lips stop moving,
    He’s listening to instructions
    How to violate the law.”

    * * *

    Fortune cookie approach

    Remember that game you use to play with your dog. You add a phrase to the fortune. Here are some sample phrases you can add to American media:

  • A. “If I read this in Nazi Germany, which side of the fence would I be on tomorrow?”

  • B. “This might be true, but it might be not.”

  • C. “If Hitler were alive today, it would most likely be true that . . .”


    Look at the unconstitutional acts of Congress as a game.

    Your job is to figure out ways to keep doing what you’re doing: Staying informed.

    One day, our children will regain the power to make laws and do something that will impose meaningful sanctions on Congress when they choose to violate the Constitution.

    That day is not far off. Members of Congress shall be stripped of legislative immunity when they join a President in his rebellion against the rule of law. All abused powers shall be lawfully revoked.

    One day that will happen. Tell your children about the Constitution. One day it will mean something again.

    They cannot burn all the copies. Even if it remains buried for 1,000 years --- we will never forget what we have, and what free people can lawfully do to force a government to assent to the rule of law, protect rights, and not abuse power.

    They are outnumbered. We can still do what is within our power: To know what is going on, even if they suppress the truth. We will still know.

    Stay determined. Share your ideas with your friends.